• Tuesday, November 05, 2024

Interview with Neelam Kumar, author of I Am Invincible, Thirteen True Tales of Courage, Grit, & Survival

I believe in the limitless power of the human spirit. Those who do not believe in it, simply give up when faced with an adversity and do not give it a chance to fight.
on May 01, 2023
Interview with Neelam Kumar, author of  I Am Invincible, Thirteen True Tales of Courage, Grit, & Survival

Neelam Kumar is the Bestselling Author of 10 books and Life Skills Coach, Neelam Kumar is known as a “Positivity Generator.” Having battled cancer twice, she decided to turn her own life into an inspiration. She has written India’s 1st humorous book on cancer, “To Cancer with Love—My Journey of Joy” followed by its Graphic Novel version, funded by legends Mr Amitabh Bachhan and Mr Ratan Tata. Also among her acclaimed books are the one she co-authored with the legendary Mr Khushwant Singh and the more recent “Healed” which is actor Manisha Koirala’s biography. Her book-“ I am Invincible- Thirteen True Tales of Courage, Grit and Survival” has helped countless lives find courage and hope during the pandemic and after.

Following the success of “I am Invincible…” Neelam has forayed into YA. Her book “Vikram-Betal-Life Lessons for Our Times” aims at introducing the Digital Natives to the wisdom of our fables and myths. Both these books have been backed by TBB. 

 

Frontlist: What inspired you to write a book about real-life stories of people who fought against all odds and emerged victorious?

Neelam: This book is my pandemic special. The pandemic had struck suddenly and so had the lockdown. The air was heavy with grief, confusion and despair. Those struck, those taking care of them were all in despair about the loved ones they had lost. As a writer, I wanted to respond to this unprecedented situation of grimness and hopelessness. 

That’s why I wrote this book about real-life people who had faced adversities of the worst kind, faced it with courage and emerged stronger than before. 

It turned out to be a manual for all adversity fighters even after the pandemic. Readers found new courage coursing through their veins after reading about the grit of these real-life heroes. My book continues to inspire.

Ever grateful to my literary agent Suhail Mathur for backing this book through his top literary agency The Book Bakers.

Frontlist: The book is divided into two parts: 6 cancer stories and inspirational stories of adversity fighters. How did you decide on this structure, and why was it essential to include both types of accounts?

Neelam: Cancer is an epidemic in India. In fact, we are sitting on a cancer volcano. Did you know that with more than 1,300 persons succumbing to cancer every day, it has become one of the major causes of death occurring in India?  Every 10 minutes, a woman dies of breast cancer because it was not detected or treated earlier. Children too get it. Awareness is very low.

And yet, there IS life after cancer. I wanted to draw attention to this issue as also towards cancer survivors. My stories chronicle some of these brave hearts.

The other stories are inspirational stories of adversity fighters from around the globe. 

Together, these two sections of my book bring hope and courage into our grim world where illness and adversity are often viewed as the end of the road. 

Frontlist: The cover of the book features birds flying, which symbolize freedom and liberation. How did you come up with this design, and what does it represent to you?

Neelam: I believe in the limitless power of the human spirit. Those who do not believe in it, simply give up when faced with an adversity and do not give it a chance to fight. 

However, if we spend time build and strengthening our inner core, determine to fight every adversity life throws at us, we summon the hero from within. This is the formula for victory. 

This concept is symbolized by the flying birds soaring into the sky. When we refuse to be bound by our fears and limitations, that is true freedom and liberation.

Frontlist: In the book, you also share your own story of battling cancer twice. How did your personal experience shape the way you approached writing this book? 

Neelam: Yes, I was struck and  I won. Mine is indeed a story of facing adversity with courage, hope and positivity. I strongly believe in the power of the human mind. When the mind becomes positive, the body complies. Attitude ensures that we win. This belief and my personal experience shaped the way I approached this book.

Frontlist: What role do you believe resilience plays in overcoming adversity, and how is it reflected in the stories you've shared?

Neelam: Everything. It differentiates the winners from the losers. All these are real-life stories of ordinary people who, while leading ordinary lives are suddenly hit by a life-threatening illness or an adversity so huge that they find themselves up against a dead-end. Yet, they face it with resilience and bravery. This is how they win.

Frontlist: How did you select the individuals whose stories you included in the book, and what were some of the common themes that emerged from their experiences?

Neelam: I had many stories and one day will perhaps write a sequel. But I selected the ones from all over the globe, with a special focus on India. I included the ones that struck my heart and remained in it. 

I also started a You tube channel in which these heroes came on line and shared their powerful  stories.  After listening to them, viewers felt that if he/she can do it, so can I!

The channel is named Invincible Talks by Neelam Kumar.

The theme of my stories?

Stories about warriors of life who have faced adversities such as  a horrific gang rape;  an inhuman domestic violence; a heart and kidney transplant (after 10 heart attacks); the decision to climb Mt Everest after a double amputation etc. The drama lies in each character's "never give up attitude". They not only fight back with their entire being, but also go on to rebuild lives more glorious than they had created before.

These real-life heroes inspire anybody faced with any adversity towards new possibilities, towards the enjoyment of each twist and turn down life’s road, towards the realisation and wisdom that difficulties and overcoming them are what make our “passing through this planet” the most amazing part of our human experience.

Frontlist: Can you share a particularly moving or inspiring story from the book that resonated with you personally?

Neelam: Yes, although it is like asking a mother to choose between her children. 😊 

 

                               Synopsis of Shalini : Survivor, Domestic Violence

In my book “I am Invincible- Thirteen True Tales of Grit, Courage and Survival,” perhaps the most powerful story is that of Shalini, the brave survivor of domestic violence. This is one true story that leaves a lasting impact on the reader/viewer.

Shalini was a pretty and confident girl just out of her teens. Focused on making something of her life, she graduated in Science from a renowned college in Delhi and then bolstered this up with an MBA, with specialization in Marketing.

 While she took up a good job and enjoyed climbing up the corporate ladder, her parents were keen to see her “settled” as per society’s standard. So, despite her objection, they fixed her marriage with an army guy from Delhi. As a parting advice, they told her that their eldest daughter had already brought shame to them by returning home after divorce, so she must “adjust” whatever it would take.

Shalini smiled coyly and dreamt of a “happily ever after” marriage to an army husband. To her surprise, he did not come to her bed even on the marriage night. Nor thereafter. One day, when she shyly asked him why, to her horror, his fists began to fly and he began beating her up. It is then that she realized that he was impotent.

The couple moved to Pune where she painstakingly set up home, but soon realized that the house was being run remotely by her mother-in-law in Delhi. She would plan the tiniest detail each day, convey it telephonically to her son and Shalini was expected to obey every order mechanically. The least bit of questioning meant she would be pummeled by her husband.

But, with no place to go back to, Shalini continued being a good homemaker.  A quiet, suffering one. She actually stated feeling sorry for her husband’s pent up anger and frustration at being impotent. Her compassion stopped her from reporting him for fear of him being court-martialled.

In the army job, transfers were frequent. From Pune, they shifted to Secunderabad. But on the first day itself, this is what happened.

“She had painstakingly cooked dinner for him in an unfamiliar kitchen, taking care to please him. She had held her breath and prayed that she would be spared those beatings at least tonight. But then they had got into an argument and he had lunged at her. She had consoled herself that she was used to it, and soon it would be all over.

When he hit her in the ribs, legs and chest, she told herself it was okay. But suddenly, through flailing fists and flying army boots, he hit her in the stomach, knocking the wind out of her. Her vision became tunneled, as if she was viewing him through a telescope. 

And then he hit her in the stomach again… and again… and again… until she collapsed on the floor, under his boots, holding her blood –soaked back. She must have passed out right then. She must have remained unconscious on the floor the whole night, soaked in the pool of her own blood.

This morning, as she drifted into semi-consciousness, she found it hard to open her bruised, swollen eyes. For blood had caked around them and her hair felt like straw. The pain on the right back of her body was so intense that she bit her lips to stop herself from screaming again. Should she overcome  her fear and pride and beg for help? 

She was amazed to see her attacker—her husband. He had had a restful sleep on their bed and was now sitting jauntily at the dining table. To her horror, she realized he was coolly buttering his bread and enjoying his breakfast. He seemed completely oblivious of his wife lying in pain on the floor, right near him.

Her  pain made her shameless. Swallowing her pride, she begged him “Please take me to a hospital. It hurts. P-l-e-a-s-e help me.”

 He kept refusing, ignoring, refusing again until she continued begging in a voice that did not seem like hers any more. Finally, he relented.

At the hospital, the attending doctor was shocked at her state. He gave her painkiller injections, examined her and then said, “My goodness! The kidney has got ruptured! How did this happen?”

Shalini looked at her husband of less than a year.

This had become a pattern almost every day… and night. She really should have become immune to it by now. But this time, her body could not hide the bruises.  Should she tell them the truth of her dark marriage? In the closed world of the Army, he would certainly be court-martialed and humiliated. He would lose his job. Did she really want that? She felt that familiar rush of compassion for him.

Through the haze of memories, the shame of her broken body and the rush of confusion about her future, she heard the doctor ask yet again, “Tell me truthfully. How did this happen?”

 She could hear her heart beating in her ears.

“Doctor, I hit myself against the metal trunk and hurt myself badly last night.”

In the closed circle of the Army, she suspected everybody knew what she was going through. But she hid her bruises  well and served them dinner with a smile each time they dropped by.  Yet they knew that he had had a history of a volatile temper since his NDA days.

Thus, 10 years slipped by. Each time she would look at anyone or speak something, she would get a merciless thrashing.

But one day, when she was 45 years old, Shalini felt a rush of courage inside her. Her attacker had informed her that they would now be moving to Bhatinda. With her new found courage, Shalini stood up tall and said in an even voice that she wanted to divorce him and refused to accompany him to Bhatinda. A proper army beating was given to her, but she stood resolute and walked out.

She went straight to a newspaper office where she had worked many years back. Luckily, they hired her again and thus began Shalini’s new life. 

While the divorce was being finalized, she learnt that her mother-in-law had got her beloved son married to a girl of her choice.

Relieved, Shalini plunged into her independent life and is now happy being alone, but not lonely. She is now a top officer in a multinational and is respected by all.

Question for readers: What are the laws in India against domestic abuse?  What is the process of going about it? How long does a divorce in India take? Should Shalini have suffered so much and  for so many years? Should Indian parents encourage cruelty on their daughters by asking them not to return to their parents’ home? Why do educated women suffer domestic abuse? How can the stigma against divorce be removed? What NGO’s support women’s empowerment? 

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